Patience

I am not a patient person. I like to get things done straight away and receive immediate results or gratification. And so I’m having a lot of trouble with the soft tissue injuries that I’ve sustained during the car accident; these injuries also stirred up my existing injury in my left shoulder until my whole neck and shoulders have become so stiff and painful I couldn’t even dress/undress without my husband’s help. Consequently my doctor and physiotherapist have banned me from physical exercise for 8 weeks. I can only walk and do the prescribed muscle exercises given to me—but no running, no yoga, and of course definitely no boxing or jiu-jitsu.

It’s been like a prison sentence.

I never knew how much I enjoy exercise, or how much I depended on exercise to take my mind off daily stress. Now that I can’t do it, something just doesn’t feel right to me; and I also feel an unexpected sense of loss.

The thing with soft tissue injuries is that they require time to heal. Allowing medication, physiotherapy, and my body time enough to heal is key. I’m not a patient person, so the past few weeks have been agony. But I know from previous experience with my left shoulder that if I do not follow instructions and allow rest, these injuries may follow me far into the future and ruin my quality of life. So I know that I have to give myself this love, this time of rest and healing.

“In the meantime, love yourself in a different way,” said one of my boxing trainers.

Yes, sometimes we can’t control what is happening in our lives—but we can control how we react to these things. I can choose to fight against it, or I can use what has happened as motivation for a positive change. Perhaps this is a chance for me to practice loving and accepting myself. Perhaps it is a challenge for me to set positive body image despite not being able to exercise. Perhaps it is time for me to address other areas in my life to improve upon.

I will try my best to have patience and to take things slow. It goes against my personality, and I really hate the feeling of standing still in one place, not moving forward. Perhaps that’s what I need to work on. But I also believe true change takes time—the change needs to implemented time and time again, until it become a good habit—until it can withstand the test of time. My trainer shared once that when an egg is broken by outside forces, life is taken; but when the egg is broken from within the shell, life is birthed. How much time is needed for that little life to grow, develop, and blossom? When the time is right. And so I await the positive changes in my life. One day at a time.

Lemonade

We’ve all heard the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It’s a concept that’s easy to understand but extremely hard to practice in real life.

We got handed some lemons recently. A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I were driving home from a lovely outing to the beach. We stopped at an intersection, waiting for the red light; out of no where a car hits us from the rear at around 40~50 km/h, pushing our car into the middle of the intersection.

Luckily, my husband and I were not severely injured.

However, we both sustained soft tissue injuries, and my old shoulder injury was exacerbated—to the point that I could not physically put on a pullover shirt. I was disappointed and sad because, after years of rehabilitation and conditioning, I am now back to taking painkillers and muscle-relaxants again. Not only will I have to halt my boxing and BJJ, I will now have to return to physiotherapy (for who knows how long?).

Adding to that is the fact that our beloved car will most likely be totaled despite so much love and work we put into it in recent months.

All this is trouble enough, not to mention the amount of “work” required for the insurance claim; all the evidence must be collected, all the procedures followed, and all the paperwork submitted.

It’s easy to get lost amidst all the things life throws at you. Sometimes there seems to be no hope, no possibility of a positive outcome. “How the hell do I get a lesson out of all this?” you ask yourself; and sometimes you think, “I didn’t ask to be taught a lesson. Just leave me alone!” I totally understand because that what I think too.

But let me ask you something: do bad things ever stop happening because of your reaction?

No. Bad things happen, and regardless of how we respond, the bad things will follow through with their consequences. For example, when our plane was delayed in Mexico, causing us to miss our connecting flight, which meant missing out on prepaid accommodation and tour—a chain of negative events that we couldn’t do anything about. So we did all the things we were supposed to do and made all the inquiries and complaints to relevant departments. Then we chose to move on. We moved on because we knew we couldn’t fight life. Life never stops for anyone. Time never stops for anyone. We do all that we can, and then we just have to accept the outcome. Screaming, crying, and worry may be how we cope—but they never can change consequences or outcomes. On the other hand, if we can accept the outcome (even if grudgingly), then it’s possible for us to see that our lives are much, much more than just this one event; then we realize that we still have much, much more to be thankful for. When you can find the sugar, you can make the lemon into lemonade.

So I now have to learn to do exactly that: worry less. This week I’ve done all the things I can do to recover from the accident; I’ve stayed away from physical training, I’ve taken all my prescribed medications, I’ve taken our car to be appraised, and I’ve filed all the insurance claim papers. Now it’s time to breathe and be grateful for all the other things in life. It’s time to make some lemonade.