Boxing And I

Growing up, I was more bookworm than athlete, and I didn’t think I could enjoy any particular sport nor be any good at one. So it was a big surprise, even for me, that many years later I would be an active member of a boxing gym.

It first started with an aerobics class. I was in university at the time, and I signed up at the local gym. Although I wasn’t “sporty”, I really enjoyed doing simple weights and attending classes. The classes were part of a series of fitness classes called Les Mills; my favorites were the yoga/Pilates classes called Body Balance and an aerobics class called Body Step—it was so popular that it required reservation and lining up at the door in advance to snag a good spot in the classroom. One time, as I couldn’t get into a Body Step class, I decided to attend the next class: Body Combat. Body Combat is basically doing aerobics with kickboxing moves; it is similar to workouts like Tai Bo. Needless to say, I had a blast in the class! I also discovered that unlike some of the other sports that I’ve tried in the past (like basketball, football, volleyball, soccer, hockey… etc.), I was actually good at this! The moves were not too difficult or too varied, and my form actually looked good. In fact, occasionally fellow classmates complimented me and asked for advice on certain moves.

Fast-forward ten years, and I’ve been a regular at Body Combat—still having great fun. Out of the blue one day, my brother texted me and told me about an anime series that he’s been enjoying; it was called “Hajime no Ippo” and it was about a boy who gets into boxing. Thanks to his recommendation, I started watching the anime and became totally infatuated with it! Besides being full of action and drama, the anime took care to explain basic techniques in boxing and the rules of competition, so I wasn’t just enjoying it—I was actually learning as well. I really think that anime made me fall in love with the sport of boxing. I started paying more attention to the real sport, watching and following matches.

Fast-forward yet again a few years later, I’ve moved to a new country with my husband. I had no job, no family, and few friends—but a lot of time on my hands. One day as I was shutting down annoying Facebook ads, I saw an ad offering a free trial at 30 Minute Hit, a female boxing gym near me. What do I have to lose? I decided to give it a try. I did the boxing circuit and went through those familiar moves—jabs, crosses, hooks, upper cuts--but I was no longer just punching the air! I was hitting various pads and bags with real resistance; my technique and power were put to the test, and I loved it! So I joined the gym on the spot and has been a regular ever since (before the car accident which forced me to take time off).

 

When I first started

I rarely missed a chance to box--even the weather can't stop me!

Fighter in the snow!

I still have much to learn and improve, and I really don’t think I’ll compete in matches, but boxing is definitely something I’ll be doing for a long time. I love that it’s a sport which combines cardio and resistance training, and I love how I feel when I’m hitting and kicking away. Getting into boxing has also allowed me to make some friends—not only at the gym but also as a point of conversation outside of gym setting. I’m thankful that I was able to find joy and accomplishment through boxing, and I hope that I’ll recover soon so I can get back to it!

Doubt Vs. Faith

I haven’t been making many posts lately because I want to only post positive things—but lately I haven’t been feeling very positive. My ongoing soft tissue injuries are still causing me pain every single day; as a result, I haven’t been able to exercise at all for what seems like a lifetime (but in reality has been only two months). This has seriously impacted me socially (as a new immigrant I haven’t made many friends yet, and most people I have met, I’ve done so at the gym) and psychologically (I feel fat and useless).

I know that I can’t just wallow in my negative feelings forever. I know that I should still love myself, that I should give myself a break. I know I should take comfort in the fact that I’m doing everything I can do to get over this slump: I’m going to all the physiotherapy/massage therapy sessions, I’m taking the medication prescribed by the doctor, and I’m even trying turmeric supplements and Chinese traditional cupping. However, sometimes your head knows something, but it takes time for your heart to catch up.

Truth be told, a part of me is wondering if I can be completely healed. My doctor has said that perhaps I should not expect recovery to be 100%; I should count myself lucky if I get to perform daily functions without pain. But I feel that I’m still young! Young-ish anyway. I train in kickboxing and BJJ. I scuba dive. I still have a whole life ahead of me, yet I’m told I may not fully recover. I may not be able to do what I love anymore. My heart is so heavy, and I don’t know what to do with this information, to believe it or to deny it.

When will the pain in my body ever end?

Me on my last diving trip to Palau. I'll be devastated if I can't ever do this again.

I saw the following quote today, and it really spoke to me:

“Sometimes you simply have to stop fretting, wondering, and doubting.  Have faith that things will work out, maybe not how you planned, but just how it’s meant to be.”

Yes, I know that doubting and fretting won’t help me get anywhere. I know that I have to trust that things will work out—even if it’s not what I had planned—but that it will be how it’s meant to be; and if it’s meant to be, it must be what works out best for me in the end. If it’s the best for me in the end, I will be able to have peace. Knowing that helps me a tiny bit. Trusting in something that has not yet happened—that’s faith right?

So this is my game plan: distraction. Every time I feel the doubt creep in, I’m going to distract myself with something else so my head won’t be bombarded with negativity. Every time I feel the fear that I may not heal, I’m going to distract myself. Every time I feel my condition is stalling and not progressing, I will distract myself. I really hope with all the distraction, my heart will catch up with my head and I can firmly believe in my recovery.

Patience

I am not a patient person. I like to get things done straight away and receive immediate results or gratification. And so I’m having a lot of trouble with the soft tissue injuries that I’ve sustained during the car accident; these injuries also stirred up my existing injury in my left shoulder until my whole neck and shoulders have become so stiff and painful I couldn’t even dress/undress without my husband’s help. Consequently my doctor and physiotherapist have banned me from physical exercise for 8 weeks. I can only walk and do the prescribed muscle exercises given to me—but no running, no yoga, and of course definitely no boxing or jiu-jitsu.

It’s been like a prison sentence.

I never knew how much I enjoy exercise, or how much I depended on exercise to take my mind off daily stress. Now that I can’t do it, something just doesn’t feel right to me; and I also feel an unexpected sense of loss.

The thing with soft tissue injuries is that they require time to heal. Allowing medication, physiotherapy, and my body time enough to heal is key. I’m not a patient person, so the past few weeks have been agony. But I know from previous experience with my left shoulder that if I do not follow instructions and allow rest, these injuries may follow me far into the future and ruin my quality of life. So I know that I have to give myself this love, this time of rest and healing.

“In the meantime, love yourself in a different way,” said one of my boxing trainers.

Yes, sometimes we can’t control what is happening in our lives—but we can control how we react to these things. I can choose to fight against it, or I can use what has happened as motivation for a positive change. Perhaps this is a chance for me to practice loving and accepting myself. Perhaps it is a challenge for me to set positive body image despite not being able to exercise. Perhaps it is time for me to address other areas in my life to improve upon.

I will try my best to have patience and to take things slow. It goes against my personality, and I really hate the feeling of standing still in one place, not moving forward. Perhaps that’s what I need to work on. But I also believe true change takes time—the change needs to implemented time and time again, until it become a good habit—until it can withstand the test of time. My trainer shared once that when an egg is broken by outside forces, life is taken; but when the egg is broken from within the shell, life is birthed. How much time is needed for that little life to grow, develop, and blossom? When the time is right. And so I await the positive changes in my life. One day at a time.

Lemonade

We’ve all heard the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” It’s a concept that’s easy to understand but extremely hard to practice in real life.

We got handed some lemons recently. A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I were driving home from a lovely outing to the beach. We stopped at an intersection, waiting for the red light; out of no where a car hits us from the rear at around 40~50 km/h, pushing our car into the middle of the intersection.

Luckily, my husband and I were not severely injured.

However, we both sustained soft tissue injuries, and my old shoulder injury was exacerbated—to the point that I could not physically put on a pullover shirt. I was disappointed and sad because, after years of rehabilitation and conditioning, I am now back to taking painkillers and muscle-relaxants again. Not only will I have to halt my boxing and BJJ, I will now have to return to physiotherapy (for who knows how long?).

Adding to that is the fact that our beloved car will most likely be totaled despite so much love and work we put into it in recent months.

All this is trouble enough, not to mention the amount of “work” required for the insurance claim; all the evidence must be collected, all the procedures followed, and all the paperwork submitted.

It’s easy to get lost amidst all the things life throws at you. Sometimes there seems to be no hope, no possibility of a positive outcome. “How the hell do I get a lesson out of all this?” you ask yourself; and sometimes you think, “I didn’t ask to be taught a lesson. Just leave me alone!” I totally understand because that what I think too.

But let me ask you something: do bad things ever stop happening because of your reaction?

No. Bad things happen, and regardless of how we respond, the bad things will follow through with their consequences. For example, when our plane was delayed in Mexico, causing us to miss our connecting flight, which meant missing out on prepaid accommodation and tour—a chain of negative events that we couldn’t do anything about. So we did all the things we were supposed to do and made all the inquiries and complaints to relevant departments. Then we chose to move on. We moved on because we knew we couldn’t fight life. Life never stops for anyone. Time never stops for anyone. We do all that we can, and then we just have to accept the outcome. Screaming, crying, and worry may be how we cope—but they never can change consequences or outcomes. On the other hand, if we can accept the outcome (even if grudgingly), then it’s possible for us to see that our lives are much, much more than just this one event; then we realize that we still have much, much more to be thankful for. When you can find the sugar, you can make the lemon into lemonade.

So I now have to learn to do exactly that: worry less. This week I’ve done all the things I can do to recover from the accident; I’ve stayed away from physical training, I’ve taken all my prescribed medications, I’ve taken our car to be appraised, and I’ve filed all the insurance claim papers. Now it’s time to breathe and be grateful for all the other things in life. It’s time to make some lemonade.

Pick-me-ups

I’m sure everyone has days when he/she feels very low—physically, mentally, or both. The past few weeks have been low for me, a low which first started physically then progressing to mentally.

The first reason for feeling low was very understandable: PMS. I’m sure a lot of people are familiar with the mood swings, bloating, abdominal discomfort, headaches and/or a host of other symptoms associated with the “time of the month.” Except for me, this was not just time of THE month. It was time of THREE months. Yes, my period didn’t come for three months! Crazy—because my usual schedule is not like this! So everyday for the three months I’ve been feeling bloated, swollen (especially in my legs and ankles), and abdominal cramping; my face kept breaking out in new patches of acne. I also had low energy levels, feeling tired right after getting out of bed. As if that was not bad enough, there was the mental aspect of it. At first I thought I might be pregnant. I waited for two weeks (just to be certain that the period was indeed “missing” and not just late) then did a home test, which was negative. But then my sister told me that when she was pregnant, her home test had been negative too; she advised me to have a blood test, which was more accurate. I did so accordingly, and the test was still negative. By this time I was missing my second period, and despite negative test results, I had read comments from online forums in which a lot of women have said that they have had similar experiences only to be pregnant in the end. Needless to say, I started to worry more and more. Third month came. Still no period. I did another test. Still negative. Oh the stress. “What the heck is going on?!” I thought. All the while the bloating, swelling, cramping, acne, and fatigue were still hanging around. Every single day I felt so fat and unattractive. Just when I decided to take this problem to a doctor (I booked the appointment), all of a sudden the period came—like a flood! I was floored by the pain and cramping, but at least now I can release some of the worry—at least I know that my PMS symptoms will go away after this agony.

The second reason I felt low was jet lag. Recently I had traveled from my family home in Australia to my new home in Canada, a journey that almost took 24 hours. Consequently I’m now going through one of the worst cases of jet lag I’ve ever experienced. I can’t sleep at night. Sometimes I can get in a couple of hours, but my body wakes up naturally and I can’t get back to sleep. In the day time I am tired but afraid to fall asleep, for fear that I won’t be able to sleep at night—however, when night comes, regardless of whether I’d slept during the day or not, I still cannot sleep! It’s a vicious cycle! The fatigue and inability to focus and mental anguish combined with my period-related symptoms are really getting to me, and I’ve been feeling really gross and sick all the time.

I’m really tired of feeling so low.

And so I think it’s time for some pick-me-ups.

Usually the first thing I try is exercise. It may be all the endorphins rushing around, but generally after exercise I tend to feel better about myself. Not only do I find it easier to let go of problems in my heart, I always tend to think I look better physically too. For me personally though, the exercise has to result in a lot of sweating—if I just do light walking or stretching I don’t feel the benefits very much. And because I’m usually feeling bad about my self-image when I need a pick-me-up, I will work out at home to a video that consists of mainly cardio and partly resistance exercises. (Home workouts are things that I want to talk about in a future blog post, so stay tuned!)

Food is another of my go-to feel-good item. Usually when we feel down we tend to go to “comfort food” like chips, chocolate, cake… I always have a soft spot for mash potatoes drowned in gravy. However, while comfort food gives the heart what the heart wants, after indulging the heart usually starts to feel guilty and regretful, which contributes to further depression and low self-esteem. So for edible pick-me-ups I would recommend things that are less guilt inducing—and usually that means more nutritious if not healthier altogether. If I really want to eat something sweet, I would have some fresh/dried fruit (especially berries), which have anti-oxidant properties. Flavored Greek yogurt is also a very healthy and nutritious option. Dark chocolate is a favorite of mine; not only does it taste good, releases feel-good endorphins into your blood stream much like exercise, it can also lower blood pressure and cholesterol. When I’m in the mood for savory food, I turn to three things: cheese, avocado, and hummus. Cheese is yummy and nutritious (albeit somewhat fatty), and there is a huge range to choose from; my favorites are goat-cheese, brie, and medium cheddar. Avocados are so easy and convenient—just slice in half and season with salt and pepper! It is also packed full with healthy fats, vitamins, and anti-oxidants. Hummus is a delicious, versatile dip that works on biscuits, sandwiches, and pita rolls. Chickpeas, what hummus is made of, contains a lot of proteins and fiber, so that it literally fills you up and you won’t have room to eat junk food.

While food for the body nourishes the physical self, food for thought can also be a way to encourage the mental/spiritual self. I’m religious, so I tend to turn to my Bible or devotional materials; but I also like going online to be inspired by other people’s experiences and wisdom. There must be billions of funny/thoughtful/motivational quotes available so just take your pick. Not only can you get something out of it, share it with someone else or on social media; you may end up brightening someone else’s day!

When I think of pampering, bubble baths come to mind. I love them. But probably not when I’m feeling fat and gross… A hot shower would probably be better, followed by some aromatherapy. I’m a big believer in aromatherapy. There is something about rubbing oil into the skin that is so soothing; not to mention your muscles get a mini massage and your skin gets moisturized at the same time. Ideally someone else should do it for you, but for a fraction of the price, one can still pamper oneself with some simple equipment (rollers, massage brush etc.). I use peppermint essential oil for muscle soreness, sandalwood or lavender for relaxation, and citrus for feeling fresh and revitalized. I also like to spray myself (or the room) with Relax fragrance from Shiseido, which smells very light and calming.

Music is good. I’d say whatever music you enjoy would be good, as our tastes are all different and to each his/her own. Personally I find the Oh Wonder album and anything by Massive Attack to be very soothing and also very pleasant to the ear. (It’s great for doing yoga to, too.) But the music doesn’t necessarily have to be calm. Like I said, it’s whatever makes you cheer up that’s best. Songs that you know and can sing to usually fits the bill.

My biggest secret weapon of a pick-me-up is probably going out to get my hair done. There is nothing quite like a new hairstyle or freshly blow-dried hair to cheer one up. Even when I feel extra ugly and gross, after getting my hair done I always feel better about myself, as if the cut hair really took weight off my shoulders. And that’s exactly what I did! Do you like my new style?

My old hair was getting to long and flat.

My new hair--it's a lob if you can't tell?

What are your go-to pick-me-ups? Let me know and I’d love to give it a try!