Patience

I am not a patient person. I like to get things done straight away and receive immediate results or gratification. And so I’m having a lot of trouble with the soft tissue injuries that I’ve sustained during the car accident; these injuries also stirred up my existing injury in my left shoulder until my whole neck and shoulders have become so stiff and painful I couldn’t even dress/undress without my husband’s help. Consequently my doctor and physiotherapist have banned me from physical exercise for 8 weeks. I can only walk and do the prescribed muscle exercises given to me—but no running, no yoga, and of course definitely no boxing or jiu-jitsu.

It’s been like a prison sentence.

I never knew how much I enjoy exercise, or how much I depended on exercise to take my mind off daily stress. Now that I can’t do it, something just doesn’t feel right to me; and I also feel an unexpected sense of loss.

The thing with soft tissue injuries is that they require time to heal. Allowing medication, physiotherapy, and my body time enough to heal is key. I’m not a patient person, so the past few weeks have been agony. But I know from previous experience with my left shoulder that if I do not follow instructions and allow rest, these injuries may follow me far into the future and ruin my quality of life. So I know that I have to give myself this love, this time of rest and healing.

“In the meantime, love yourself in a different way,” said one of my boxing trainers.

Yes, sometimes we can’t control what is happening in our lives—but we can control how we react to these things. I can choose to fight against it, or I can use what has happened as motivation for a positive change. Perhaps this is a chance for me to practice loving and accepting myself. Perhaps it is a challenge for me to set positive body image despite not being able to exercise. Perhaps it is time for me to address other areas in my life to improve upon.

I will try my best to have patience and to take things slow. It goes against my personality, and I really hate the feeling of standing still in one place, not moving forward. Perhaps that’s what I need to work on. But I also believe true change takes time—the change needs to implemented time and time again, until it become a good habit—until it can withstand the test of time. My trainer shared once that when an egg is broken by outside forces, life is taken; but when the egg is broken from within the shell, life is birthed. How much time is needed for that little life to grow, develop, and blossom? When the time is right. And so I await the positive changes in my life. One day at a time.